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An open Letter to Korean Society
Korea continues to have a controversial relationship with adoption since the end of the Korean war. Long after the war has been over, adoption has evolved into a pseudo social welfare system in which 15 foreign countries globally, have raised approximately 220,000 of Korea's unwanted children. The western world has found a seemingly endless supply of healthy babies and children; a highly sought and limited resource around the world. This staggering figure supports the notion that there are no limits to the insatiable demands of adoptive parents wanting to adopt a child. These parents hold a tremendous amount of unquestioned privilege and power in getting a child. Many times they are not qualified or properly vetted, but this poses no real barrier, as was the case for the little boy known to the world, as Madoc Hyunsu O'Callaghan. He was adopted by a privileged couple with many dark secrets that led to the adoptive father fatally beating the child to death. The adoptive father had a long and significant history of mental illness that he and his wife intentionally hid during the entire adoption process. Only after the brutal death of Hyunsu, at the final sentencing hearing did this explosive news come out inadvertently. This sad tragedy could have been avoided- if the fantasy that adoption is a fairytale life could be understood as false, especially in the minds of Korean natives. This case has exposed for the world to see, that a high stakes gamble is at play for the lives of adopted children. It is a global lottery where the child could beat the odds and get a "better life" or lose everything- where abuse, molestation, torture, and even death hang in the balance. A disproportionate number of abused adoptees from the past six decades are speaking out now about their abusive childhoods since this high profile story became national news. This troubling phenomena is what we need to examine in the case of little Hyunsu. How could this happen after decades of adoption when policies should be better? How could a child be sent for overseas adoption when Hyunsu's Korean foster mother wanted to adopt him, but instead was lied to by the adoption agency? Helplessly ensnared in the international adoption system, Hyunsu was sent to a family with dark and terrible secrets. Secrets so damaging that his life was brutally taken. Unbelievably this couple was able to deceive both adoption agencies in Korea and the U.S., social workers from both agencies; and deliberately and illegally passed their homestudy and background checks. Future children like Hyunsu are helpless pawns in this broken adoption system. Does Korean society know what is happening to their children who are sent for international adoption?
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입양과 관련한 보이지 않은 상처는 입양아의 가슴과 마음에 큰 상처를 남긴다.
입양인들은 부모를 잃은 것 뿐만 아니라 모든 가족, 문화, 언어 그리고 자신의 출신도 함께 잃은 것이다. 그들은 모든 사람과 모든 것을 잃었는데도 불구하고 이들을 입양한 양부모들에게 잃어버린 것들에 대해 위로 받지 못하고 무시당하는 경우가 많다. 전형적으로 모든 사회, 가정, 친구, 그리고 다른 입양인 들은 학대 받는 입양아들이 이러한 고통을 말할 수 있다는 것만으로 만족해야 한다는 분위기에 그들의 트라우마는 더 악화되고 있다. 입양인들은 행복에 대해 자신의 삶을 해석할 수 없다는 것처럼 강요 받고 있는 것이다. 이것은 분명히 현수나 다른 많은 입양인들 만의 경우가 아니다. 모든 입양인들은 다른 곳으로 입양되면서 손실과 비극적인 환경을 경험하게 된다. 양부모로부터 단지 학대가 없다는 이유로 입양인 들이 트라우마와 고통이 없을 것이라고 생각해서는 안 된다. 사랑과 이해심이 많은 양부모들이 많다. 그렇지만 입양인들은 그들이 입양되었다는 자체에 배려하는 마음이 없다는 것에 고통 받고 있다. 이것은 의도치 않은 형태의 무시 이지만 깊은, 보이지 않는 상처를 유발 시킨다. 국제 입양인들은 전형적으로 가족 안에서 "명예백인" 으로 살아가길 기대 받고 자란다. 이러한 역할은 입양인들에게 일반적으로 받아들여지는데 현상인데, 심각한 부모의 실패 이다. "정서적 무관심"이라고 한다. 입양인들은 감정을 인정받지 못했기 때문에 감정이 성장하지 못하고 상처를 받게 된다. 그리고 그 상태로 어린 시절 트라우마를 겪은 어른이 되는 것이다.